Jeff's Spleen

Up Your Nose w/a Rubber Hose

One of the great things about having cable TV--other than the fun fact that you're paying people for the privilege of being slowly lobotomized---is that at any given moment, on any given day, you can be instantaneously transported to any moment in TV history, given the proper amount of channels. The Wife and I subscribe to the DISH satellite thingy, and even on the lowest level of subscription we still get 50 channels, which is about 48 more than are really necessary. (I'd keep Cartoon Network and Comedy Central. Oh, and also Nickelodeon, if only for Spongebob Squarepants, possibly the Greatest Show of All Time.) That provides ample opportunity for random channel surfing, and stumbling across every sad, dumbass show that's ever been on.

For example, just last night, while waiting for The Wife to appear so we could finish watching Amores Perros on DVD, I inadvertently flipped by an ancient episode of "Welcome Back, Kotter."

Now, I know I watched this as a boy in the 70s, and I know I laughed, and I know that at that point in my development I had not yet had the excuse of being high on marijuana, so all I can do now is ask: Was this ever funny? What were we laughing at? Post-modern shows like "The Simpsons" now routinely make fun of the unselfconscious idiocy of these old shows--but how did they ever fool us in the first place?

I didn't stay with the episode long enough to ponder this important philosophical question, but I did manage to watch until one of the show's dumb "catch-phrases" was recited: Young John Travolta, as Vinnie Barbarino, delivering the withering put down "up your nose with a rubber hose" to one of his comrades. Wooooooo!! The audience (or laugh track) not only laughs uproariously at this, but actually claps, out of recognition or acknowledgment of the line.

It was at that moment that The Wife entered the living room and sat down. She's French, and did not grow up with this s%%t. She looked at the TV, looked at me, and said, "what are they clapping at?"

I did not know.

Posted by jeff at April 21, 2003 11:14 AM