Frequently asked questions at EnjoyTheDraft.com

· 2004 Election

Enjoy The Draft – Drunken FAQ:

BUT BUSH SAYS HE WON’T INSTITUTE A DRAFT. WHY SHOULD WE THINK HE WILL?
Because Bush says he won’t institute a draft.
IS IT POSSIBLE HE JUST WON’T CALL IT A “DRAFT”? LIKE INSTEAD HE’LL GIVE IT SOME ORWELLIAN DOUBLESPEAK NAME?
Beware the “No 18-to-25-Year-Old Left Behind Act.”
SERIOUSLY?
No, just kidding. Actually, it’s Americans from age 18 to 34 who can expect to enjoy the new, improved, co-ed draft. That’s right! Girls can enjoy the new draft, too. And, lucky folks with special skills like languages, computers, and healthcare can enjoy the draft up to the age of 44.
(Lucky dogs.)
DOES THAT MEAN WE MIGHT SERVE WITH JENNA AND BARBARA BUSH?
Absolutely. The Bushes would never use their connections to influence where or how a family member serves.
OK, SO BASED ON HIS RECORD, BUSH SEEMS LIKELY TO REINSTATE THE DRAFT. BUT ARE YOU IMPLYING THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH JOINING THE MILITARY?
Absolutely not. On the contrary, fighting to make America safer is perhaps the noblest endeavor an American can undertake. Unfortunately, the Bush administration hasn’t quite figured out how to combine the “fighting” part with the “make America safer” part.