His built-in iPod

Browsing cheesedog (aka, Garret Keogh to those antiwebbers out there reading this), I found a link to the dependable Onion (I have an iPod… in my mind) which cracked me up so hard it inspired this unfortunate urge to post a link to an Onion bit, in lockstep, no doubt, with hundreds of other webloggers.
Choice bit:

You say those iPods have customizable playlists that allow you to line up songs of your choosing? Primitive! I can put together a playlist, say “Best-Ever Heavy Metal Anthems,” while I’m sitting in traffic. My mind is light-years beyond that, though. Does your iPod have the “That Reminds Me Of Another Great Song” feature? Well, my mind does!

Comment on another blog: “but I still want one.”