Was really feeling discouraged last night. Up till past 3 am the night before and still unable to finish that color insert. Up early yesterday morning on about four hours sleep finishing it up in the morning. It’s still off the mark so it came back (to the drawing board) in the afternoon, at which point I was really starting to crash. Napped for about 45 minutes in the late afternoon but by then it had gotten so hot that I was swimming under a heavy comforter. Weird, incoherent dreams, lots of anxiety, discomfort. Went through the evening on autopilot, clearly not at my best, tiresome, downcast.
Amazing what sleep deprivation does to me at my age (37+). Caught up on some, maybe most of it last night and today isn’t like “I’m so excited/And I just can’t hide it” but I no longer feel that irrational gloom hovering over me. No “What’s the use?” but certainly my old friend sloth still squatting on the mess in my office. Looking for that “can do” spirit, or at least a little more physical reality and little less imaginary angst.