Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Today is, of course Talk Like Bill O’Reilly Day. Don’t make me turn off your mic!
This Internet is a hotbed of dangerous speech! Even the print media are committing liable against me. There’s something wrong in this country when famous people deliberately try to harm a legitimate businessman like myself.
Looks like O’Lielly’s are busting out all over. Why do they hate America?
My precious… bodily fluids.
Just shut up, everybody. Shut up. Shut up!