Summaries of candidate blogs

Niel Palleck is posting hilarious excerpts from the Democratic candidates campaign blogs:

JOHN KERRY, August 8–I took the bus to Springfield today because my best friend got tickets to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, who were supposed to open for the White Stripes until Jack hurt his finger. I was pretty pissed, because I think it would have been great to see The White Stripes and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs together. Really, I don’t care that they’ve been on MTV a bunch of times. I still think they’re cool.


HOWARD DEAN, August 21–Heidi Julavits has this manifesto up at The Believer, which, as you know, is the latest project from the talentless ironists at McSweeneys, which is trying to be all sincere now, and it’s not working. Julavits wants to have it both ways: To get her book reviewed and also to have people read and enjoy it. What Ms. Julavits (who is Dave Eggers’ ex-wfe), doesn’t seem to understand is that literature as she and her elite consorts know it will soon be consumed in the fire of the proletariat literary revolution. Every day, real writers are producing the people’s literature, and it’s only a matter of time before they rise up to unseat their bourgeois masters. I anxiously await the day.