RNC: Quick takes

· 2004 Election

Arnold? Pretty entertaining. But I kept waiting for him to tell us why it was we should reelect Bush. Sure, we got plenty of reasons why America’s great. And let there be no doubt: If the USA and all the positive things it can stand for in this world are ever on the ballot, they’ve collectively got my vote. (also: Wooo!) But what I was looking for were a few positive attributes or policies or actions related to this particular president. I got a grand total of one: “he’s quite decisive.” And you know what? So is that gorilla that learned ASL. When she wants an apple, boy, she really wants an apple. But I ain’t letting Koko hold The Button.
The so-called “Bush twins”? They put the “train wreck” in “holy crap! I just saw a train wreck!” Even the Fox “All-Stars” (and speaking of them: [insert vomity noise here]) thought these two were a disaster. I’m sure it doesn’t really matter to the actual election. And I’m not gonna tear them apart, because it ain’t their fault. But yeeesh. Whoever wrote and approved those speeches managed to make Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie look like Mother Teresa and the Dalai Lama. In comparison. Which is not an easy thing to do. Because Paris Holton and Nicole Ritchie really aren’t very deep. Or at least, they don’t seem very deep on the TV. And neither did the so-called “Bush twins.” Tonight. Was my impression.
GWB’s introduction of Laura? So boring the people (I assume being paid to stand behind him and look like they’re casually playing softball) couldn’t even be bothered to stop playing softball long enough to look over. Now that’s charisma!
Mrs. Bush? Not bad, actually. A little dull. Sure, she stretched the truth at points (“my husband is actually at home doing stem cell research right now! using real live babies!”) But credit where credit’s due: she was pretty specific, she was fairly positive, she seemed reasonably sane. A solid B+. Too bad she’s not running for office.