well fuck you too PG&E

Emerging from the basement where I am on flood watch, I went out to the dripping mailbox to fish out our soggy load of coupons, bills, and bank card come-ons, including the Pacific Gas & Electric Company invoice for the month of March. March, the “40 days and 40 nights” of relentless rain in which the basement flooded daily or diurnally, necessitating use of a portable pump, garden hose, and sponge mop on a 24-7 basis. March, in which my energy-saving scheme to enclose the leaky window frames on the inside with plastic sheeting and strapping tape turned the house into a sodden greenhouse for the perfect incubation of black and green mold. March, which last year was a false summer of 70+ degrees and sunny days.
March did us in. The good-hearted folks at PG&E, after passing on the screwing by ENRON and others to jack up the price of natural gas, took pity on us and promised a rebate on our winter heating if we would reduce our gas usage by 10% over last year. Thus the plastic sheeting. And the setting of the thermostat to 62% for night, 65% for day. Chilly, but cheaper. And the bills arrived for December, January, February: $100, $150, $175. Still, we managed to reduce gas consumption by 20% for January, 13% for February.
Then March came. Last year, during the “March Summer” we used very little gas. THIS March we doubled the gas we used from last March. So we lost the Rebate Gamble. Since PG&E averages the saved consumption for each month–comparing it to use the following year, we didn’t reach the 10% reduction in gas usage that would have gotten us a 20% rebate on three months of our energy bill.
So fuck you, PG&E. (and now, back to the basement….)