good morning, sunshine

· still breathing

woke up this morning to a glimpse of pink reflections in a crystal blue sky out the windows of my room. though i’m neither menopausal nor, for that matter, female, i have been waking up in the middle of the night many nights with hot sweats for nearly the last year. when this happens, i often leave the big bed and move to the cot-sized one in my “office.” sometimes fraidy hears me moving around and starts her scratching on the door, regardless of the time. cats are nocturnal, after all.

i’ve been experiencing an “up” mood this week without any of the hallmarks of mania. as i explained to syrup yesterday, it’s not that i’m happy all the time. instead, i am content, and my moods and feelings radiate from me with a kind of clarity and transparency that i can’t remember from any time in my sentient, language-using life. thus, the pink glow of sunrise this a.m. felt to me like a blessing, an opportunity to revel in the glory of the world, another day of this humane, down-to-earth state of grace. i’m not saying i thought all that. it was a feeling, you know? they don’t translate to words exactly, but i’m a writer and i can’t help trying.