If your candidate was a rock band

Reading Andrew Bayer is Dreaming of China: Edwards Or Clark?, I posted a comment that I like enough to reprint here, with one small addition in an alternate version:
We’ll know soon enough. I agree with Philip. Kerry’s joementum will be unstoppable unless something changes the dominant media narrative. This means someone has to attack Kerry (opponent or media) or he has to blunder in a major way. His posture vis-a-vis the AWOL meme I think is helping him in the toughness category that Dean used to own.
I’m still working for Dean in California, because I think it’s his message and platform that are winning and I want to hold the eventual nominee’s feet to the fire even if things don’t magically break our way in the next week or so.
Edwards was my first choice before I fell for Dean, and I still like him. It was weird to read Safire this morning quoting dead Nixon as saying the exact phrase I’ve been using for Edwards for the last week: “He’s a comer.”
Clark is more and more striking me as a drain on the Dean movement – it siphoned off a lot of the same base on a candidate who is “better” than Dean in the way that betamax was better than VHS. It turns out that, “If you like Dean, you’ll love Clark” isn’t such a good premise when people don’t like Dean.
Here’s my rockband analogy, worked up from thinking about the way the Clarkies improved on the Dean example in terms of discipline and smarts:
Howard Dean = Grateful Dead
Wesley Clark = Phish
John Kerry = Rolling Stones (esp. Keef)
John Edwards = Beatles (esp. Paul)
Al Sharpton = James Brown
Dennis Kucinich = Joan Baez
Carol Moseley Braun = Aretha Franklin
Joe Lieberman = Sha Na Na
George Bush = Hank Williams, Jr.
Clinton, of course, was Elvis. Gore was Pat Boone, Bradley was They Might Be Giants. Tsongas was Buddy Holly, Jerry Brown was the Brian Wilson-era Beach Boys, Dukakis was the Kingston Trio, Bush I was Montavani, and Reagan was the Mamas and the Papas. Ford was the Monkees. Carter was the Allman Brothers, Nixon was Captain Beefheart, LBJ was Jerry Lee Lewis, JFK was Frank Sinatra, and Eisenhower was Guy Lombardo. I can do this all day. Truman was Bill Haley and the Comets. FDR was Duke Ellington. Hoover was Jenny Lind, the Swedish Nightingale. Woodrow Wilson was Scott Joplin. Teddy Roosevelt was Pavarotti. The anarchist who shot McKinley was Mark David Chapman.






3 responses to “If your candidate was a rock band”

  1. X-POLLEN Avatar

    Which world leader are you?

    What Famous Leader Are You? Bonus: Which rock band is your presidential candidate?…

  2. cecil vortex Avatar

    Nixon was Captain Beefheart?

  3. Philip Avatar

    McKinley = John Lennon?