You lose 300 tons and what do you get?

Please allow me to aggrandize myself, but my Monkey Vortex cohorts have scripted and produced a two-minute playlet called Sympathy for the W.
I was given a cowriting credit but that overstates the case. That is me on lead vocals, though. I know, I know. Don’t quit your day job. Cruel of you to say that to a freelancer.