shallow breathing

peak flow meter at 460 today, finally starting tracking it in earnest after paying lip service to my general practitioner all this time. people die from asthma. two close friends of briggs’ have died from it within the last decade. i have to treat this like any other chronic condition. it’s so hard to think of oneself as “sick” or in need of constant treatment or therapy, but i’m slowly getting used to it. the first step was remembering to take an antihistamine every night. now i do it without even thinking, even when i drunk, stoned, or just logey after a long work day. i’m still holding out hope for a “cat-allergy vaccine.” if the day ever comes, i can invite the neighbor cat, Fraidy, in to play without fear. as it is, she comes by and meows plaintively and scratches on the door panes like a speed freak most evenings. can you say “familiar”?