visions of excess and restraint

· still breathing

something rare for me happened a few nights ago: i dreamed about jerry garcia. now, some deadheads have these kinds of dreams all the time (and especially dreams of being at shows), but not me. i’ve only had the “intimate show” dream once or twice and never a “talking to the celebrity just like a friend” visitation. he didn’t look great, plus even though we were sort of walking along talking, i had the famous front-on view, and i noticed his hairline receding even though the hair was more black than gray: kind of a hybrid of tommy-chong era jerry with touch of grey era jerry. don’t remember what we talked about but near the end i welled up with tears because, as i told him, “you’re going to die soon.” so what was my mind trying to tell me?

yesterday i had lunch with my friend jeff green, writer of the GreenSpeak column in the back of Computer Gaming World magazine. walking down market on the way back from the burrito place where we et, we both spotted r. crumb’s ascetic brother sitting in the lotus position, looking distressed (but maybe he always looks that way) and talking to someone standing, leaning over him. when we got past earshot i said to jeff, “do you know who that was?” and of course he did. i guess anyone who saw the documentary about crumb would. we joked about having seen a movie star. as my brother likes to quote a homeless man he met in new york once, “You in the city now.”